Love Deeply.

Unwanted Loss

For my final paper in Media Theory and Ethics, I decided to write about how suicide is covered in the media. This decision came after two losses this summer and one a few weeks ago of people who were at one point or another, considered a friend. Even though it is a crucial topic to discuss, I hardly ever hear people talking about suicide within the ‘Christian’ circle. Why is this? From my experiences, those we have lost are generally non-believers. Shouldn’t we be reaching out to them more than others? Unfortunately we are not. Suicide tends to come when we least expect it and have the greatest impact on us. In my opinion, it is the saddest way to lose a human life. In recent years, the rate of suicide is increasing, especially in Asian countries. In Hong Kong, the number one cause of death for women is suicide. NUMBER ONE. It is quite difficult for me to wrap my mind around this. 

This paper has also enabled me to reflect on my own life and truly count my blessings. Especially during the holiday season, I have so much to be thankful for. I have never been through something so difficult that I have considered taking my own life, and for that I am thankful. There are people in this world who deal with these situations on a daily basis and can think of no other way to escape the pain. They have no refuge, no stronghold, no support system. They have no Jesus. I know that I can often complain about what is lacking in my life or how frustrated it can be, but in reality I could not be happier. My family is one of the best support systems I have ever encountered. The friends I have made, especially while being at Taylor, care more than I could have ever hoped for. For that, I am truly truly truly thankful. 

My prayer is that as a body of Christ, we will begin to take notice of those struggling around us. Don’t push it under the rug. If someone is crying out, listen, pay attention to them, react. It is so easy to act like everything is okay; it is so easy to put a fake band-aid on all of our messed up situations. We could save lives if we just learn to love. Love and be loved. Care and confront. 

love.

Ready to End

This week has been an overwhelming amount of stress that is for the most part unnecessary. I am so not ready for this surgery again and I am scared to death that I won’t be able to exercise at the same capacity again. I really am missing my friends that are away…I feel like two of my best friends were gone all at once and it’s been a struggle. Being in contact with them isn’t the same as being in their presence. Each one has their unique way of impacting my life. Ugh I miss them :( Thankfully, one of my closest friends remained here. He and I have grown tremendously in our relationship which has been awesome but he isn’t very sappy…so there’s a certain level of emotion we can’t quite reach. I also feel like I’m slowly losing relationships with people. Whether that is through lack of communication, miscommunication or just us drawing apart, it still makes me sad to know someone I love isn’t going to be there anymore. Unfortunately, some of those are by choice while others are just taking their natural course. With Easter approaching I am anxious to get home and celebrate this holiday. Unfortunately it will be while I am handicapped and it is my favorite holiday :( Hopefully something this week will snap me out of this funk and back into the light…

artsy.

With basketball being over and the semester coming to a close, I am trying to find things to fill up my time. So far it has been sleeping and TV, which is so counterproductive it’s driving me insane. I have found a new draw to the arts and I have a desire to explore all of the different options and be crafty til I can craft no more. Unfortunately, I have no idea where to start. So far it’s random sketching, photography, and singing loudly whenever possible. With my sister being the queen of crafts I feel like my stuff will be below par next to hers, but I can only do my best :)

On top of craftiness, I might start reading more. I am in the middle of reading Water for Elephants and love it so far. With this being said, any ideas of craftiness or books worth reading are more than welcome to be sent my way.

llove.

For Ash Wednesday…

from an anonymous blogger: “Ash Wednesday should be seen as standing guard over Lent, reminding us at its start of the core truth of Christianity: we must give up. We must give up not this or that habit or food or particular sin, but the entire project of self-justification, of making God’s love contingent on our own achievements. And the liturgy of this day goes right to the ultimate reality we struggle against, which is death itself. We are reminded, both by the words we say and the burned palms imposed on our foreheads, that we will die. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Give up! Give up, for you will not escape death. The entire logic of the theology of glory, of all our Pelagian impulses, of all human attempts at mastery and control, are searched out and stripped away on Ash Wednesday. We are seen for what we are – frail mortals. All power, all money, all self-control, all striving, all efforts at reform cannot permanently forestall our death. Our return to dust is the looming fact of our existence that, in our resistance to it, provides a template of sorts for all the more petty efforts we make to gain control of our lives. In this way, the repentance that takes place on this day also can be seen for what it is. The penitential rite is not a kind of shame inducing act of self-hatred. It simply is a recognition, and thereby acceptance, of our inability to love and do perfectly, which no amount of self-help strategies can change. It points to the utter gratuity of grace, its unearned, unmerited, even inexplicable nature. Repentence, then, is liberating. On Ash Wednesday, our confession of sin really is saying, “we give up.” By repenting, we opt out of the logic that turns the good news of Christianity into another form of bondage, of accusation and moralizing. We do not, on this day at least, pretend to be anything other than the flawed human beings we are. And it is this very lack of pretending that is such a relief to sufferers weighed down by guilt. Ash Wednesday is a day for honesty. We no longer have to fear or elide the truth about ourselves.”

1 Peter 4:8

Tonight was the Fancy Party to celebrate the beauty of women…inside and out. I think it is awesome that Taylor takes the time to recognize the beautiful women on the campus and to highlight one specific woman who had made an impact on the university or in the world. Even though it is a night of celebrating beauty, it made me realize how much ugly still exists in the world. As soon as I came home and opened my computer, the first thing I saw was a headline on CNN highlighting a church that is protesting homosexual people in the military. Some of the things they are saying about the people or what they are putting on their signs and shirts really makes my stomach turn. I really wish someone would show them Christ’s love because somewhere along the way they were shown something totally different. 

Over J-Term I took Contemporary Christian Belief where a lot of what we learned is just to love people regardless of what they believe or what they do. God calls us to love and to reach out to the world through the love that He gave us. I am worried that the demonstration that this church is making and has been making will severely impact the ability of the Christian community to reach out and change the lives of people who are in desperate need.

I am not the type of person to really get riled up about things that don’t directly impact me, but this is out of control. I just pray that God will be able to touch the lives of these people and let them know that they are loved and that what they are doing is not the way to lead the world to God. This is not what He commanded us to do.

One of my favorite verses as of late, and one that I hope to really incorporate into the wing next year, is 1 Peter 4:8. It says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” If we just love, and allow ourselves to be loved, a lot of the problems in our society would not exist.

So just love the person next to you and allow them to love you in return. Also, pray for the people of this church. Pray that they will be shown God’s love and have the ability to show it to others in a way they cannot imagine. 

love.